I was not the type of young girl who planned out her wedding to a T, or envisioned the number of children I'd have. I really did not foresee this life for myself.
When I was pregnant for the first time I couldn't begin imagine what the little baby I was growing would be like. Whether it was a boy or girl was of no consequence. Just the fact that I had *a baby* growing inside my body was quite enough for me to process. However, when John and I went to the "big" ultrasound and they told us we were having a girl, I will admit... I realized that was exactly what I wanted. A baby girl. My first child.
When we were pregnant for the second time, I assumed we'd have a boy. Because that's the way it works, right? You have a girl child, and then you have a boy. Of course we realized in short order this is certainly *not* the way it works, and we had our little Quinny. And we were elated.
When we found out our third and possibly last child was also a girl, we were happy, but also grieved the idea that we might not ever raise a son. It was a complicated feeling -- all at once overjoyed to have another healthy blonde sister to add to our family. And yet, feeling sad that we would never know what a boy child would be like.
This feeling passed. We had our three girls, who were and continue to be as unique and different from each other as the day is long. I have absolutely loved having three girls. My daughters.
Peyton, who is serious and quiet when you first get to know her, but is so ridiculously loud and nutty when she is comfortable. She is funny, that one. Full of ideas, jokes, ambition, and interesting thoughts. She will still come lie on my bed, stretching out her long 12-year-old legs, and ask for hugs and want me to tickle her back while she talks to me. At other times she morphs into her pre-teen persona and is way too cool for school. But always, underneath, she is my baby girl whom I love to the core.
And Quincy. My gentle spirited one, who is both strong and fragile. She likes to tell me stories and ask questions. She is active and fast, but also spends hours reading. She crushes a book just about every other day. She is a deep thinker, a helper, loves games and music, and always manages to melt my heart.
And of course, my Brooklyn... who can be seen riding her bike in a ballerina tutu and high heels, singing to the clouds the entire Frozen soundtrack. She makes and wraps me presents everyday. Her favorite thing to write to me these days is: "Mom, you are the best Mom in the university. Love, Ms. Brook." I have stacks of these letters. They are the best. She also is deeply invested in what I choose to wear each day. "I think I should help you today," she will tell me when she sees I've chosen jeans yet again. One day, for fun, I think I'll let her dress me...
As is often the case in life, it was never up to me what I would get in terms of the birth order, or the personalities, or genders of my children. I received what God knew was best for me. What is, in fact, perfect for me. My daughters are my precious gems. I look forward to building strong bonds with each of them, that will hopefully translate into friendships that will last a lifetime. My three girls make me immeasurably happy.
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