I've been thinking a bit about the holes we have within us. Not literal holes, so much... More the figurative sort of holes we are either predisposed to develop... Or the deep valleys that have been gouged out when we are hurt or betrayed... Or the seemingly bottomless depths that occur when life tears though us unexpectedly taking parts away for good. We all have them - it is part of being human. We just have different ways of managing them. I know for me, I spent a good deal of my later youth and early adulthood trying to fill them -- which I think is pretty common. I filled and filled, often times with the wrong things, just so those spaces that were open and lacking were smoothed over. Then, later in my adulthood I dug back into those places. I can see through experience the things that are worth throwing out, in some cases leaving those old deep valleys and holes raw and exposed. It is so tempting when space is cleared to immediately fill it again. There are so many things that can smooth over the uncomfortable feeling of looking deep deep deep into a dark unknown place in the center of your being. But I had this thought last night, and it really made me happy... It's okay to have deep places with absolutely nothing inside of it. This is what makes the landscape of our beings beautiful. The dark places, the negative space, the mysterious unknown that you can call down into and hear only echoes... Without those places, everything is flat.
It is a simple thought -- embracing open empty space without any desire to fill it... But I must say, it made me happy.
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