How do you know when you marry somebody in your 20's they will make you happy decades later? How do you know if the person you choose will be a good parent? Will they be a person who will watch you grow and change and continue to love you? How do you know the person will stand by you when you're sick, or exhausted, or sad?
You don't.
Know.
You cannot.
Looking back I can say there were times I knew... but that is all in retrospect, because John *has* turned out to be all of those things. How could I have known when we were carefree, living moment to moment, traveling, eating out every night that we could struggle together, build a family together, work so hard together, and yet still laugh and love?
I will say I had a strong feeling from the very beginning... If I were more of a windbag I'd tell you the story of how we met. But John tells it much better. If you ever want to know, ask him... Suffice it to say, by the time we had our first date, that was it. I was smitten. I knew it was special.
I will tell one little story, though. This was after we had been dating for several months... We were playing cards in a little tavern in Seattle. I was smoking cigarettes as was the norm for me back then. I know, major yuck... John didn't like that I smoked, so he offered to make a bet with me. He said if he won (I think it was 2 out of 3) then I would quit smoking. This, at the time, was a huge thing to ask of me so I wanted to know what I would get if I were to win. Anything, he told me. I thought and thought, and came up with a fabulous idea. If I won, he would have to streak (yes, naked -- as in, full on birthday suit) down Highland Dr where I lived. Not only that, part of the deal was that he would have to wave his hands over his head saying, "look at me! look at me! look at me!" I don't have to tell you that the next few card games were extremely high stakes. But I will tell you, I won. Though I didn't believe he'd ever come through on this bet, I started immediately asking him when he was going to do it. To my surprise, he took it very seriously. He had made a promise and he planned on seeing it through... So about a week later, in broad daylight we pulled his truck to the end of Highland Drive, and he took off every article of clothing, except his green ball cap with the four leaf clover on it. We made absolutely sure there were no children around. There were only tourists taking pictures at Kerry park. And out he went, naked as a jaybird, running down the street waving his arms over his head yelling, "look at me! look at me! look at me!" to a stunned group of tourists who stood with their mouths agape watching in silence... To this day, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. He ran back to the car and we drove away... I was shocked. And impressed. I also quit smoking on principle alone.
We have been married almost 13 years now. So much has happened in those years, and not all of it has been perfect -- quite the contrary. We have cried, we have been furious at each other, we have been hurt. John is not a perfect person, and neither am I. But we are a team... He makes me laugh. And he makes me very very happy.
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