100 Days of Happiness Day 14

This picture was taken in the summer 2005 with my sister-friend, Stacey. It was right after we had completed a triathlon – my first. In case you can’t tell, I was elated.  

Rewind a few months earlier. I was suffering from the pain of losing a pregnancy at 10 weeks. It was my first loss, and I was devastated. I felt my body had betrayed me. After I had grieved for a few months, my friend Stacey suggested I do a triathlon with her. I had never done any kind of a race. Not only that, I didn’t think I was the kind of person who could, or should, or ever would do any kind of a race. I remember one time while out for a run in Seattle, a group of runners in a small 5k met up with me on my route. I remember thinking to myself, “oh a group of real runners… I better get off their course.”

 In addition to not feeling ready to let my grief go, the idea of participating in a “real” race – one in which I would have to not only Run, but also Bike, AND Swim, seemed unfathomable. I told Stacey I would think about it. She checked back in with me a week or so later. I told her I wasn’t quite sure, so… She said, “oh you’re doing it.” Not in a “maybe” kind of a way. Or, “I’ll give you more time to think about it” kind of way. I kind of love her for this quality she has.  But in my mind I was pretty certain she could shove it. I couldn’t do a damn triathlon. But… I decided to get on the treadmill and see what I could do in the running dept. If I could get the 5k part down, then maybe…  I took myself out to the garage treadmill, and though it was painful and I walked a great deal, I did the 3.1 miles. And, I kept going back out. Soon I was able to run the full distance. Stacey and I went swimming in the lake. We breast-stroked the entire way, but we were able to do the half-mile distance required for the race. We did it several times, and timed ourselves. We got faster… Then we met for biking on the trail. I had my brother’s mountain bike he had used while in college. Definitely not a sleek triathlon bike by any stretch of the imagination, but it got me the 12 necessary miles. I showed up on race day. There are pictures of me on the course. Though it was a hot August morning and I pushed myself to the point of dry heaves, I am smiling on the course. 

That day was a turning point for me. I realized that it was just the tip of the iceberg in terms of my capability… My body was strong. It was a very empowering feeling – one that I have carried with me for these nine years. I have this picture in my closet. It makes me happy when I look at it and remember the woman I was that day, and all the things I have reached for, tried, accomplished… because of  my very amazing friend who made me step outside of my comfort zone.